Every so often I get the overwhelming urge to share exact excerpts from my journal with all of you. I tend to write about upbeat, inspirational topics that talk about pursuing your happiness and living the life beyond your wildest dreams. The truth is, though, that this isn’t always easy. I, too, struggle with taking risks and following my heart. I have doubts. I have fears. I have a quiet little voice in my head that says I just need to grow up and get a real job. I know it’s hard to believe, but check out this journal entry I wrote back in January…
“I’m afraid. I want to live the life beyond my wildest dreams – inspire others, teach yoga, write books – but I’m afraid. I have doubts. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to support myself financially. I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay off my student loans. I’m afraid that I will go further in debt. So, I apply for, and work at, jobs that pay well, have some flexibility, but are not where my passion lies. I bounce from job to job, desk to desk forcing myself to adapt to a work life that doesn’t fit my desires. I perpetuate the cycle. I do what I think I should do. I’m playing it safe. I’m ignoring my heart. And, I’m envious of my friends who have taken risks, liberated themselves, and are living the life beyond their wildest dreams. Then my brain reads all of this and thinks, “You’re being unrealistic. Go back to your desk job and stick it out.”
There are times when these thoughts become deafening. For days, sometimes weeks, I live in a sea of overwhelming doubt. It’s okay to have doubts and fears. We all have them, even those of us who use the words “bliss”, “inspiration”, and wildest dreams” on a daily basis. Dreaming big isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, and that’s okay. Once we recognize that doubts will arise, we can develop a plan of action for when they become overwhelming. When I find myself struggling beneath a mountain of fear and doubt I return to my ultimate wellness vision. I dream about it, I write about it, and then I choose to live it.
The very next page in my journal after the above excerpt went something like this…
“How do I want to feel in my body and in my heart? Free, liberated, inspired, passionate, radiant, strong, proud, full, whole, generous, stable, secure, loved, pure, natural, clean, sexy, empowered, brave, spontaneous, playful, calm, joyful, fit, comfortable, soothed, adventurous…Adventure. Radiant. Feisty. Passion. Leave 9-5pm job, become a health coach, teach more yoga, write a book. How does my body feel/What does it say about this decision? I feel soft – at ease – like I was always meant to do this. I feel thankful that I put myself out there and took a risk. I feel a bit surprised that money/finances didn’t come up in my vision. I feel healthy, supported, and balanced.”
To create your own wellness vision, simply set aside some time to think about your dream state of wellness. Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel in my body and in my heart?” Write down everything that comes up. Next ask yourself, “What are some ways that I can create these feelings in my body and in my heart?” Write it all down. Lastly, ask yourself, “How does my body feel/What does it say about these decisions?” And, you guessed it, write it all down.
Keep your ultimate wellness vision in a safe place and come back to it every time the fears and doubts creep in. Creating your ultimate wellness vision is a great tool to set aside fear and doubts to continue living your dreams. It brings us back to all the reasons why we’ve chosen to dream big. When we get real about how we want to feel, suddenly it all makes sense.
So, tell those fears and doubts to hit the road!